a Brief Summary of Arab American & Muslim Culture

Tag: Islam

Disclaimers and what I have learned from others

I know I have been away for sometime and it’s because I didn’t have anything to write about. Disclaimer: Just because I write about Arab and or Muslim Issues doesn’t mean that I’ll write heavy Religious topics since I lead a different life than most people my age or social group. I am also ethnically diverse as well I don’t want to make anymore assumptions about what I post or blog I know everyone has their own opinions. On the topic of what I have learned from others. Recently , I developed a friendship with someone of a younger caliber it was my fault for dragging it on & also the person didn’t make it clear about it being just a Friendship I simply didn’t get the hint until 6 and a half months later. Usually when Girls come up to me whom have ” Talked ” to people younger than them they don’t quite understand that they’re on a different level than we are. After my slight rejection I left and it was for the best . , But something I’ve learned from it was that despite conversations I had with a person , the response was quite negative. Those people with serious Issues and in their Early 20’s shouldn’t even think about being ready for a Relationship at this point anyway. It’s always our Community telling Females that they should ” Grow up” and Mature before they think about anything . Males can have their Freedom as they wish it just depends on their personality. Why can’t the older generations of Males have a sit down with our Young Shabab and tell them to Focus on their Education and other things and learn how to be patient?. I know Allah made them a different way , but still it isn’t fair. Women mature more than Men I just don’t seem to understand this day in age at all. InshaAllah I’ll be back to focus on other things and Issues it just seems like the gender issues get swept up under the rug everytime. It’s always the Females that get into some trouble unless a guy went to Extremes. Thats all I’m going to say.

An Unforgettable Tragedy , A Heartbreaking Loss my take on Chapel Hill Shooting

After a 12 and a half hour sleep I woke up to check on messages from the morning. I turned on Instagram and got the news of 3 Muslims whom were killed in execution style. I was laying there shaking and didn’t know what to think and I had an upcoming test in political sceince class so I was afraid to go to school the next day.  They all have said that they argued over parking spots. I believe in my heart it was a hate crime. Why would anyone want to hate Muslims? what did WE as a whole do to deserved to be hated?. Is it because we believe differently?. I am starting to think this whole rampage came about when the Bradley Cooper movie ” American Sniper” came in theaters. Muslims are loving and peaceful people. The Radicals that u see in the media are not apart of us. I cannot  fathom the pain and heartache The Abu Salha and The Barakat are going through.  I wished the world would just get along and see that even tho Muslims may be different , we all go through the same life struggles as everyone else does. #MuslimLivesMatter #AllLivesMatter no matter what . I wished everyone would just see that. Islamophobia has been in an all time high since the Charlie Hebdo incident in France a few months ago. Let me tell u something about these 3 Victims:

Deah Barakat was a student at UNC and was going to school to persue dentistry . He also wanted to provide things for underprivileged people here within the United States and Abroad. His plan was to go to Syria and help those Refugee Kids . According to his Sister , he had the kindest heart.

Yusr Abu Salha was his wife of 6 Months and she was to follow suit going to dentestry school as well she was accepted to UNC not too long ago.

Razan Abu Salha  just 19 years old and wanted to become an Architect . Best Friends have said that she was the sweetest thing ever.

I would like to end this by giving my Condolences to both Families and May Allah (SWT) give them Sabr during those difficult times ahead.

إنالله وإنا إليه رجعوم  ” To Allah We Belong & Unto Him We Shall Return”

No one can survive Bombs and Tunas alone… My Journey to Libya in 2012

I’ve been to the Arab Country situated in North Africa 3 times now & this time , it was different. 1st of all , it was 1 year after the infamous ‘ Arab Spring’ that happened on Feb 17th where they overthrew the tyrannical leader known as Moammar Ghaddafi. My Father decided that winter was too bad for me to stay in America and also some personal issues I won’t be discussing on this page. It was great for a few weeks until wars started happening and things began to take a turn for the worse. I went to a lot of Weddings and Engagement visits. Like I said , Libyans are more conservative they don’t have Engagement parties like other more open Arab countries do they just write the  contract and set a wedding date.  All I could eat for Lunch/Dinner was chicken , eggs and tuna sandwiches because the economy was so bad after the Arab Spring that we couldn’t afford a lot of food. I only went to the supermarket one time thanks to my cousin’s awesome husband and got all I needed. Women generally in the South of Libya such as Sebha/Al Gourda where my Father’s from , typically don’t go out of the house.  In places like Tripoli , Misrata or Benghazi ( Before Turmoil in 2 of the Cities) more women there go out and have cars to drive more than people in the South. Now  the south typically are very traditional minded it when it comes to culture and Islam. It even goes overboard with the Wedding traditions. Usually the Bride has her Hennah and Wedding at her House , but my 2nd Cousin whom I still kinda keep in touch with today , had her Wedding at a hall which was awesome. It just depends on the family and how traditional they want it to be. We had to reschedule the wedding so many times because of the Tribal infighting in town. I can tell you I was pretty scared of the bombs going off  . My Uncle’s Brother In Law describes it like a action movie he’s just seen on TV. 

There’s also some Socio/Political problems still in the country . Many People have sided with the Rebels ( Thowar as they’re called) the one’s who overthrew the Gaddafi leader and some are Tahalab ( Pro Ghadaffi People). Unfortunately, it can tear a lot of friendships and close familial relationships apart I’ve seen it happen with my own eyes.  Women in the north have a little bit more freedom than the women in the south, Women in the north do go to school , drive and even have a semi free social life . Whereas the south , a man has to take you wherever you need to go , he also gets stuff you need or ask one of the kids to go get stuff for you especially the really embarrassing stuff.  Weddings and Lunches like I said are a special occasion . The food is big and people like to drink a lot of tea & getting into the latest gossip which we know Islamically is  not the wisest thing to do. The Social life in Libya is pretty basic your family is all you need , your friends can be part of your family and many more.  When girls reach puberty they have to wear the Hijab which is customary , but the hardest part is once they’re in the late teens to late 20’s- early 30’s Libyan women are always talking about Marriage. The generations collide on this one  since now more people are willing to go to University & establish a career than starting a relationship or family. Once she does graduate , then the pressure is on and if she’s not married by 30 somethings wrong with her. When I was asked these personal questions it made me feel awkward , but as an American person I stood my ground and told them that I don’t need a man in my life and marriage is not a guarantee for me only Allah knows what’s written for me. They pity the girl if she’s Divorced like it’s a disease some couple’s are not meant to stay together for whatever reason just move on. Especially if that happens the two families have awkwardness between them and their relationships are severed. I was being called Amerekeeya because I loved freedom and independence they weren’t used to that.  The society should appreciate women who wanna live their lives as is and not pressure to conform them into a marital institution or a career that would guarantee status. I’d have to say I liked Tripoli better than my Father’s hometown it was pretty opened and things were so much fun back then. Would I wanna go back? probably not , I am happy in a country I was born and raised in. My Grandmother , who was born in a village 1hr away from where my father grew up certainly agrees with me. I’ve visited there  it’s like a  desert a bunch of houses , one store and one school. I would like to go to other Arab countries InshAllah when things get safer and better for travel until then, I’m gonna stay put in USA and focus on my life here.

Wadjha 1st Saudi Film to broadcast in America

If u have a On Demand Channel with your Cable Provider, I suggest you watch a Saudi film the 1st of its kind called ‘ Wadjha’ it’s a story about a young Girl who wants to buy a bike so she enters a Quran contest. This film will let u see a glimpse of life in Saudi Arabia & why it’s vastly different from the other Arab countries I suggest u should bring tissues also . I’m gonna give this Film a 9 it was very heartwarming , but still made me raise a lot of questions about Saudi life. I hope u enjoy this film review inshallah I hope to do more as new Arab Indie films are made I didn’t wanna give too much away that wouldn’t be fair now would it? Till next time Salam Out!

It’s Best to Stay Single Wallah Trust me :)

Valentines Day is coming up and alot of Girls on My Facebook Feed or in Groups are complaining about being Single. Like I’ve told u before in Islam , There’s NO Dating it’s completely Haraam ( Forbidden) it’s either your Married or Single there’s No In between. So if u think I am being Harsh or that I HATE Men it’s about realistically why Being Single is Better and ETC.. 

1.  You can eat a Whole Sandwich by yourself and u don’t have to Bother Yourself with Cooking a Fancy Meal like Mjaddara or Mbkbaka

2. Men get more emotional especially if the Guy u are Engaged/Married to. If u are Marrying a Guy from Overseas they get really mad if ur not Calling them all the time  which they don’t understand that we have Busy lives.

3. You can do your own thing and not have any Permission from anyone 

4. Strengthen Your Relationship with Allah (SWT) and Mature a little bit  you should Love Yourself before u can Love Anyone else.

5.Here Is a little bit of a Recommendation ,Talk to People that are Married or Have Been Divorced or Widowed . Marriage is not all it’s Cracked up to be , It’s hard and it Takes Commitment so think before u make any decisions and also to be realistic in ur Choices if it ends up being Naseeb InshAllah Khair.  

That’s all for me Right now til next time Salam 🙂

What We need to Teach our Females and Suicide Prevention

In the last few weeks alone , 2 Girls have committed Suicide both Young Women . One was from the United States & from the Heavy Populated Arab Community , The Other From The UK. What do we do when something like this happens? I often think in my Opinion ,  that in our Cultural & Religious backgrounds that we put too much pressure on Young Girls when they become of age. For example , when the Girl automatically turns 18 parents often think ” Well , lets get her Married” have u ever stop to ask ur Daughter what she wants to do with her life? just because she’s ” Acting Out” or doing something crazy means that she has to get Married right  away. Girls need to learn that u don’t need a Man to Survive and that all Relationships are not as perfect or ” Fairy Tale ” life.  , But we also need to stress in a calm manner why Dating is Essentially HARAM & not just a one word answer. Tell them that Allah has everything written down for her on his own time & that just because most of her Friends got Married before her that she should follow suit. Everything is Naseeb ( destined) on Allah’s timing and not when u want it to be. If Allah Forbid u don’t get Married , there’s tons of other things that’ll come your way I understand we all want to be Loved & Cared for esp the ones who are going thru the Intimacy Phase that’ll pass in ur 30’s . The thing is Girls crave attention of a Guy for the wrong reasons and some end up Committing Suicide . Tell them Calmly that in Islam it’s a Sin to Kill yourself & things will get better Inshallah in due time not everything is Guaranteed in life. If something serious should happen ask for help Immediately I know in the Muslim Community they think Depression is not a Sickness , but a Psychological phase that they could get over quickly it’s not. We need to talk about these things before it’s too late. As the years go on, things will start happening. This is a Touchy subject , but I wanted to address it.

Muslim Feminisim 2014…

Now u may be asking yourselves why I am even posting this?. Unfortunately , we’re just beginning to 2014 and alot of Haram Policing and Bashing against Muslim Women is getting too out of Hand. 1st of all , there’s this Controversial Topics of Hijab on Social Media. Of Course , u all may remember 5 Months ago I donned on the Hijab unfortunately , it didn’t work out with me I know it’s Fard to do so , but I knew in My Heart I wasn’t ready . I lost some Friends due to the untimely posting of my Hijabless picture. There’s also Girls posting Meme Pictures of a Lollipop and  it has one Covered and the Other Not while I know they were promoting something , It’s still no one’s place to Judge on the choices other pingeople make especially humiliating someone in Public on a social media site. If u wanna give Nasiha , do it Privately . also , with this Muslim Men Calendar , I think it was in Poor taste to be Honest of Course , I’m not gonna lie I am straight , but come on  I mean all of us Single Girls wanna Marry intelligent guys  and all but u know Glancing is kind of Haraam so to speak. anyways this is my Rant for today I am not even gonna go into length detail just wanted to post..

Salam Out!

New Terms…. for 2013 almost year end!

It’s almost the end of 2013! Lots have been Happening , but in the Mean time I’m gonna post some new Urban Words I’ve found out Recently or some that just still stayed there. InshAllah 2014 will be just as amazing :)!

Mipster- Muslim Hipster  ( You’ve probably seen the Viral Video somewhere)

BroZoned- Even tho Dating is HARAAM , in the west when Young People in general like a Person and for some reason they aren’t interested in the person for Marriage Instead of Freindzoned they call it BroZoned.

HaramPolice- People who publicly Humiliate u for whatever sin u have committed or whatever ur doing with ur Lifestyle they’ll address it on the Internet

Bidah- Innovation  

Makrouh- Is a Choice I dunno if I said it on my Last Post

HalalyWood- New Trend to make Movies for Muslims that are Certified Clean 🙂

That’s all for now , Till Next time  Salaam!

The Month of Muharram , Sectarianism & My Quest for Unity among Both Muslims

When I was 10 Years Old , I went to the Library to get some Books or Video to Watch. Low & Behold , I got a Video to Watch about Islam since I didn’t know anything about my Religion. I kept watching the Video and then they were talking about another group of Muslim People & about Ashura & the Month of Muharram. I didn’t understand anything I was just watching a Play about a Guy named Hussain and why they were beating their Chests. As many of u know , I grew up in a Mostly Sunni Environment & I didn’t know anything else , but that. Until the late 1990’s around the Gulf War we had People coming in From Iraq. For people whom are not Familiar with it , I’m just gonna give u a short context about the Month of Muharram according to Both of the Sects Beliefs. Sunnis , Mark Ashura as the day to fast just like the Jewish people of Moses ( AS) time did they fasted on that day in the past so our Prophet Mohammed (SAWS) suggested that people can choose to fast on that day. For the Shiite’s , Its a Day of Tragedy & Mourning  commemorating the death of Hussain ( RA) the Grandson of Prophet Mohammed (PBUH). They do their processions in the Land of Karbala which is in Iraq 20 Miles or so from Baghdad where he & his Family were killed. They do Latmiyats ( Singing Poetry) , Beating of chests and so on which is Not really Favorable in our Religion anyway , some do give blood.  The only difference between the 2 sects is the way they also pray . Sunnis Pray with their Hands on their Chests & Shias just put their Arms down some Sunnis do it , Even I because of my Mildly Neuro Disorder it’s hard to hold my arms for 20 Minutes sometimes. The Shia’s put a Sand Rock called a Turban not Turban  (ToorBan) that is made in Karbala Iraq. I wished we all could stop hating & killing each other about who should lead Islam. It hurts when they curse our leaders , but it also hurts when my Own people call them the K word Meaning Kuffar ( Non Believers) what would our Prophet say if he saw this?. Every time Muharram comes around , I get so anxious not willing to turn on the news just to hear Sectarian Violence in places like Bahrain , Lebanon and most Importantly Iraq. I wanted to write this Earlier , but I didn’t know what to say or how people would view it. Disclaimer : I have NO FULL Knowledge of my Religion I’m just sharing with u all how I see things. The Media gets it soo twisted especially the News Media who like to cause alot of Drama between both Sects. It’s like a Reality TV Show being played out in front of our Very Eyes. We both believe in the 5 core things some differences , I’d rather not get into. Make Du’aa that our Beloved Ummah can stand together against people whom don’t think that we should be ” Brothers In Faith”. I hope everyone likes this Post , this was a very hard decision for me to write this , but I couldn’t let it go seeing as its the Blessed new Month in the Islamic Calender. InshAllah May All Muslims stand together in peace Ameen!!!

Hijab in My Own View & what it means to be Basically..

It was the Holy Month of Ramadan & My Ramadan Resolution was to be spiritual & one with Allah because that’s the Relationship that u will always have for a Lifetime No matter what he Gives u. I was thinking alot about the Hijab and Not because My Best Friend or her Sister put it on I thought about it for awhile. Here I was in the Beginning of my 30’s and knew I needed a Change in my life because the rest of those other Life changes are Decreed by Allah and Not by Myself alone. I needed to be closer to Allah & on top of that , I wasn’t Young enough anymore to where I should show anything that shouldn’t be shown. Contrary to Western Stereotypes , They think The Hijab is Oppresing Women or that Their Husbands or Male Family Members made them do this. It’s a choice , but then again is Fard ( Must or Mandatory) I Remember telling my Best Friend My Decision her Reaction is what I expected and she had a Feeling it was gonna happen to. My Sisters were Happy as well and My Non Muslim Family were Receptive as well which SubhanAllah ( Glory To God) was The Best thing that ever Happend to me. I think it’s probably the Best Decision I made while turning 30 is to Cover Up. The only Person who could ever see my Exotic Beauty is My Family & InshAllah Future Husband if it’s Naseeb. Some days are hard , but I keep on going on with My life as usual cuz Allah Knows Best :). Just wanted to share a bit of My Hijab story untill Tomorrow or sometime InshAllah See Ya Next Post  M3aaasalama!