thoughtsofanarabamerican

a Brief Summary of Arab American & Muslim Culture

Tag: Marriage

Disclaimers and what I have learned from others

I know I have been away for sometime and it’s because I didn’t have anything to write about. Disclaimer: Just because I write about Arab and or Muslim Issues doesn’t mean that I’ll write heavy Religious topics since I lead a different life than most people my age or social group. I am also ethnically diverse as well I don’t want to make anymore assumptions about what I post or blog I know everyone has their own opinions. On the topic of what I have learned from others. Recently , I developed a friendship with someone of a younger caliber it was my fault for dragging it on & also the person didn’t make it clear about it being just a Friendship I simply didn’t get the hint until 6 and a half months later. Usually when Girls come up to me whom have ” Talked ” to people younger than them they don’t quite understand that they’re on a different level than we are. After my slight rejection I left and it was for the best . , But something I’ve learned from it was that despite conversations I had with a person , the response was quite negative. Those people with serious Issues and in their Early 20’s shouldn’t even think about being ready for a Relationship at this point anyway. It’s always our Community telling Females that they should ” Grow up” and Mature before they think about anything . Males can have their Freedom as they wish it just depends on their personality. Why can’t the older generations of Males have a sit down with our Young Shabab and tell them to Focus on their Education and other things and learn how to be patient?. I know Allah made them a different way , but still it isn’t fair. Women mature more than Men I just don’t seem to understand this day in age at all. InshaAllah I’ll be back to focus on other things and Issues it just seems like the gender issues get swept up under the rug everytime. It’s always the Females that get into some trouble unless a guy went to Extremes. Thats all I’m going to say.

Things other people can’t see and May/December does it really exist ? and does it work?

My Best Friend and I would start off our spring and summer going to picnics and parties . While we would both have fun , we couldn’t escape the annoying questions of Elder Aunties asking when one of us would get married thankfully she doesn’t have to get that anymore. When it comes to me , I am tired of explaining to people that there’s nothing wrong with me and that I have a mild form of CP which they only see me once every few months when the weather is warm. Yes I am pretty , but please don’t ask me why no one came. Allah has better things planned for me. While we’re on that subject , I get hit on by loads of youngermen on social media because I look really young. When I explain to them my age they still push it. Please don’t use the Beloved Prophet Muhammad (PBUH)’s relationship with the lovely Khadijah (RA) it was a different time plus , she was widowed . There was few guys that I was even interested in , but they were waaay too young for me , but we’re still pretty good friends. Looking back on Celebrity May/December romances got me thinking it doesn’t exist because of the timeline between two people and their span of maturity. I still dunno why people make such a big deal about Puma’s and Cougars like they’re some odd trend I haven’t even read any successful Marriages coming out of May/December romances . Anyways , I had nothing to talk about just wanted to reiterate why people ask too many questions about my love life. Arabs are nosey and like to gossip just beware. Next entry will be Joseph Attieh’s new album coming soon for now Peace!

Things that Us Single Muslim Girls Struggle with and are Annoyed by

It seems to me that whenever some of us whom have been single for a VERY long time go to social events with our Married friends , it seems like they don’t understand our struggle at all. Here are somethings we’re sick of hearing esp advising.

1. ” Naseeb happens when you at least expect it”

We know that already , cut the crap we know Allah writes down whom we should be with whenever the times right and it’s still hard

2. ” What’s wrong with you?, Maybe you should attract a guy more by changing your wardrobe”

That’s really not gonna cut it , if a guy happens to like us for us , great

3. “Maybe you should learn how to cook more”

Who cares maybe I’ll find a guy who likes to eat sandwhiches sometimes

4. ” You’re not professional enough”

5. ” Your type is kind of unrealistic”¬†

I know I am picky , but that’s how I roll I have certain qualities that I find that is gonna make me wanna be with this person u probably weren’t realistic with your chices.

6. ” Find someone a little older maybe it’ll increase your chances”

It doesn’t matter age or maturity , if they ain’t ready , they ain’t ready

7. Last but not least ” You’re Too Nice”

What do u want me to be a stuck up person?

These things that my Friends and I run into is sometimes very sad. We’re all spiritual and patient when it comes to Allah (SWT) perfect timing . My Problem is my Type tends to find Girls already to be Engaged/Married to , Too Young or Not really ready to settle down. I may not have that type of faith anymore , but what I do know is that I am human who wants to be loved and cared for all the right reasons. If it’s not to be in this life , Inshallah in Jannah ya Rab!

It’s Best to Stay Single Wallah Trust me :)

Valentines Day is coming up and alot of Girls on My Facebook Feed or in Groups are complaining about being Single. Like I’ve told u before in Islam , There’s NO Dating it’s completely Haraam ( Forbidden) it’s either your Married or Single there’s No In between. So if u think I am being Harsh or that I HATE Men it’s about realistically why Being Single is Better and ETC.. 

1.  You can eat a Whole Sandwich by yourself and u don’t have to Bother Yourself with Cooking a Fancy Meal like Mjaddara or Mbkbaka

2. Men get more emotional especially if the Guy u are Engaged/Married to. If u are Marrying a Guy from Overseas they get really mad if ur not Calling them all the time  which they don’t understand that we have Busy lives.

3. You can do your own thing and not have any Permission from anyone 

4. Strengthen Your Relationship with Allah (SWT) and Mature a little bit  you should Love Yourself before u can Love Anyone else.

5.Here Is a little bit of a Recommendation ,Talk to People that are Married or Have Been Divorced or Widowed . Marriage is not all it’s Cracked up to be , It’s hard and it Takes Commitment so think before u make any decisions and also to be realistic in ur Choices if it ends up being Naseeb InshAllah Khair.  

That’s all for me Right now til next time Salam ūüôā

The Price of Marriage… amazing Video

This Video has Caught the attention of Young Muslims and Non Muslims alike. It’s sad how Money plays such a big role in asking for a Girls Hand In Marriage just check out the Video. Not just Money , but also Ethnicity and Job Status. Is this what we want our Future Generations to look at how to seek a Spouse? Allah Yihdeena ( May God Guide us All) enjoy this Video ūüôā Salam!

When ur Arab Friends want u to be the Matchmaker & among other Arab Social Problems

In this Year alone , since I know too many people because I’m Friendly which are Mostly Guy Friends ( Haraam Police u should not be reading this) . Since I have Tons and Tons of Single Girlfriends Arab Guys always used to check out my Pictures with my Friends or My Facebook Friends List. I mean , I tried 3 times to match people up & frankly speaking it didn’t work so well. I kindly lecture them since I am like an older sister to them that Marriage or Getting Engaged is not what all is cracked up to be , It’s not a Fairy Tale per say. I mean given the age these Young Shabab are in their Early 20’s I tell them to finish School & get a Job 1st & the whole ‘ Naseeb happens when u at least expect it and that Allah is the Best of all planners and it’ll be on his time and not theirs’. I casually joke that I am the Arab Version of Pattie Stanger from that Bravo show Matchmaker Millionaire because its the only think I can come up with. ¬†Also I have Single Girlfriends I cannot hang out with anymore one of 2 things ¬†1. Because the community I grew up with has mostly Younger Girls from Mid Teens to Early 20’s and 2. Girls my age are so Desperate they wanna hang out with Guys. I just wanna be able to have fun & enjoy my life & not worry so much about things that Allah has planned for me. If u ask anyone , I’m not a Mean person I’m just brutally Honest & truthful when it comes to these kind of things which sometimes gets me into trouble not every little truthful thing has to be said. Anyways , just wanted to explain to u the Many Arab Problems I’ve seen over the Summer untill next time Salaam.

The Truth : About Interracial Marriage in The Muslim/Arab Communities

Now ur asking me why would I post something so trivial & Serious? Because It needs to be Address no matter what Era or Generation we are in. I believe that this is something that needs to be Resolved ASAP. I believe that It’s a Beautiful thing when 2 Cultures come together as 1 & I am a Product of that Alhamdulilah. I mean I’ve had soo many Friends whom have Been asked for their Hand In Marriage & the Parents always ask ‘ So what Country is he From?’ if he’s not even Remotely Arab or Even from their own Country Ex Palestine or Libya they Turn him away. I mean if we’re all Muslims & we all believe in Allah (SWT) why should it Matter where we’re from?. This Problem only happens in The UK /US and Australia since Back home in the Arab World, there’s not alot of Diversity & everyone is stuck in their own world. I mean if He’s a Nice Person with a Decent Job I think the Parents should give them a Chance. I mean I think It’s kind of Childish and Stupid to hold back their Son/Daughter from Marrying a Person just because they’re not from the same Country let alone the same Balad ( Town). Naseeb Happens when one at least expect it , I know Parents want what’s best for their Children that’s nice & all , but at the end of the day it’s up to the Child on what kind of choices they make ¬†they can only do so much. In my Experience, I haven’t been asked for , but asked about & when people of My Same National Background hear that I’m not specifically exclusive ¬†to just them they get upset with me esp when I go back to Libya. I wished that people would read the Prophet Muhammad ( SAWS) Last Speech and actually put it into action. If we all don’t come together & Form any Relationship , I think the Ummah will crumble. This is only my Opinion & yet again I’ll Express it everything’s Written By Allah (SWT) I just wonder how our Wider community can get past all those Hurdles & form Human Relationships?. I know that it’s one’s Dream to Eventually go home & have a nice life there ,but Allah is the Best of all planners & Not a Chance shall be wasted. Any Negative comments will be deleted after this post. And Allah Knows Best . Salaam¬†

He’s just not That Into U (ArabStyle) or He’s Just not Ready for Marriage

I know¬†u all Sista’s out there like me , no matter if u are in Your late 20’s or Early 30’s are having a Hard Time finding a Spouse or Those whom have been Engaged before , but Broken up. This is also for the Girls overseas who are Misconstrued by the Signs being as Positive , but it’s really not so here goes nothing…..

1.When he says he wants to be with u , but he knows His Mama wants him for his Cousin Back in the Blad ( Arab Girls kno what I’m talking about) then he’s not for u.

2. His Facebook Inboxes are short or if ur a sneaky little thang Text Messages…. he’s just being nice to u and trying not to hurt ur dang feelings.

3. He may be playing around , but he’s not Intrested in Getting Married more like I wanna Haraam Date before I make a Commitment to u.

4, He says ur Great and all , but he sees u as more of like a Sister/Friend to Him… Drop him like a Bad Habit & delete him from all of ur Social Networking Sites Including ur Phone Please.

5. Sneaky little thangs like¬†to call each other… if u call him and he doesn’t Respond ,¬† that mean’s he doesn’t really know how to tell u this , but He’s just not that Into u or wants any type of a Relationship right now.

6. If he’s waaay Younger than¬† you by more than a Year…… He’s NOT for u… I suggest someone around ur age or Maybe 5 Years older… even if he was if he acts immature He’s not for u either.

7. If he just calls u things like Hott & Sexy he ain’t for u.

8. If he’s demanding u to change who u are.

9. If he talks smack about ur Friends and Family

10. All of The Above and That’s all u need to know…¬† Everything’s Naseeb so just be paitent bcuz Allah Knows Best with what u deserve everything in it’s timing InshAllah Khair .Ps Check out Fellow Blogger Muslim In Love she’s pretty amazing MashA’Allah ūüôā¬† till Next time Salam ‚̧

Arabs & Their Pick Up Lines… Yes we do have those.

This is one of my Last Posts of this Month until I get back from Vacation InshA’Allah so I’ll Post some Hilarious and Strange Pick up lines. While Male -Female Interaction is in Fact ” Haraam” we do often have some people who choose to act out otherwise.

  1. ” Do You Believe In The Hear After? Cuz That’s what I’m Here After”
  2. ” I’d Haram You So Hard’
  3. ” Girl, You’re So MashAllah I go InshAllah”
  4. ” So You Wanna Be One of My Wives?”
  5. ” I Like My Girls Like I Like Kanafe”
  6. “Butterflies ? Pfft, I feel Doves in My Stomach When I think of You”
  7. ” I Want You To Be The Mother Of My Little Rock Throwers”
  8. ” My Love is Like Libyana Reception Hard To Get”
  9. “You’re The Pita Bread, To My Shawarma Sandwhich Without Each Other We’re Incomplete”

¬† ¬† 10 .” Have ur Dad Talk to My Dad & We’ll Get Married”

Anyways , that’s ¬†all the Top 10 I have right now .& I took one from Each Nationality or all Arab. I Promise there are some Great Ones since it was a Twitter Trend . Have a Great Spring or Pesach or Easter!

Salaam Out!

 

Why Dating is Haraam & why Muslim Girls cannot be in a Interfaith Relationship , but still do

I know I should be the LAST person to be talking about this ¬†but I hey , someone’s gotta do it right?. I mean I know People tell me ” Well , She’s Muslim & She Dates”. 1st of all Pre Marital Relationships are HARAAM (Forbidden) because it could make u do some terrible things to u like committing Zina ( Fornication) esp amongst young people whilist not even being Married. ¬†If it is Naseeb ( Destined) by Allah/God for them to get Married they will , but if they’re meant to be Single Forever , there’s nothing they could do about it. Look at me , I’ve been single for over 30 Years , and while I am Happy being Single , it gets hard I am gonna admit that to anyone who reads it. My Friends have already moved on with their lives having Children & Moving away. I’ve had my share of Widows & Divorcee’s in my Group of Friends & I know Relationships are overrated anyways so don’t try to give me that advice. Now the new trend these days is Arab Muslim Girls Marrying Non Muslim American Guys well Most convert & due to the lack of Arab Muslim Men ¬†, but the Most part it is Haraam to do so. ¬†It just depends on if the Family is Traditional/Religious or not. ¬†If the Guy sees a Muslim Girl & thinks she’s cute , it’s better to stay away from them because it’s not gonna go anywhere. another question I get is ” Well Men Can Marry Christian’s & Jews cuz they’re People Of The Book , Why Can’t Women?”. The answer is that the Man is the Provider of the Household & ¬†The Children will have to Follow his Religion or Ethnicity & So Forth. I know ¬†u think this is Racist , but I did not make up the rules here this is just how life goes. And the whole Talking thing that us Muslims do when we see a person we have a Crush on & Wanna Marry? 75% of the time it doesn’t really work out although some have worked out with the Aquantances. Most of the Time , Young Muslim People are unrealistic about their choice of Partners that’s why they have soo many High Divorce Rates in the United States alone . I’ve had my fair share of talking or someone hooked me up & it didn’t work out I had maybe 1 person who had a crush on me. ¬†Overseas , they tend to look at personality rather than looks they think Attraction means nothing ¬†to them. I dunno if they studied Science or Laws Of ¬†Gravity before in their Life. In my 20’s I never really knew what I wanted , but now I think I got an Idea ¬†InshA’Allah I hope it works out in the NEAR Future , if not I think I’ll have a awesome guy in Paradise just dying to meet me. Don’t worry , I am NOTHING like these other Arab ¬†Muslim Single Girls ¬†out there ¬†I have better things to do with my own life than think about someone that’ll never come around although it gets frustrating , I know that timing is everything. Just Pray that I get thru this. I hope ya’ll understand ¬†till then , Salaam out!