a Brief Summary of Arab American & Muslim Culture

Tag: Muslim

Are we not even Human? the Attacks in 24hours

What happened in Paris , France was really sad and horrific . My heart goes out to the families and loved ones whom are still reeling in from this tragedy. , But there’s one thing I’d like to point out, why all of the sudden do people care if something is going on in the West when Beirut and Baghdad were both being bombed?. I am sick and tired of trying to apologize or condemn these attacks that ISIS whom I DONT consider them apart of our Muslim community at all.  43 People in Beirut died in the south district  where the majority of the neighborhood is of the Shiite Sect. At least 2 people from the Dearborn , Michigan area were among the victims killed. In Baghdad , scores of people were killed while attending a funeral. Who’s to say that one group of lives matter than the other’s? I may sympathize with Lebanon and Iraq because I grew up around Refugees from those two countries and not conic dentally they were of both Muslim sects. I have a heart for all humanity including my Origin country of Libya and my Nurture Country of Palestine. I feel like the Ummah has definitely feel apart whether we kill Non Muslims or Each Other. That’s all I have to say about this sad situations I guess people don’t have an ounce of humanity anymore. May God be with us all.

An Unforgettable Tragedy , A Heartbreaking Loss my take on Chapel Hill Shooting

After a 12 and a half hour sleep I woke up to check on messages from the morning. I turned on Instagram and got the news of 3 Muslims whom were killed in execution style. I was laying there shaking and didn’t know what to think and I had an upcoming test in political sceince class so I was afraid to go to school the next day.  They all have said that they argued over parking spots. I believe in my heart it was a hate crime. Why would anyone want to hate Muslims? what did WE as a whole do to deserved to be hated?. Is it because we believe differently?. I am starting to think this whole rampage came about when the Bradley Cooper movie ” American Sniper” came in theaters. Muslims are loving and peaceful people. The Radicals that u see in the media are not apart of us. I cannot  fathom the pain and heartache The Abu Salha and The Barakat are going through.  I wished the world would just get along and see that even tho Muslims may be different , we all go through the same life struggles as everyone else does. #MuslimLivesMatter #AllLivesMatter no matter what . I wished everyone would just see that. Islamophobia has been in an all time high since the Charlie Hebdo incident in France a few months ago. Let me tell u something about these 3 Victims:

Deah Barakat was a student at UNC and was going to school to persue dentistry . He also wanted to provide things for underprivileged people here within the United States and Abroad. His plan was to go to Syria and help those Refugee Kids . According to his Sister , he had the kindest heart.

Yusr Abu Salha was his wife of 6 Months and she was to follow suit going to dentestry school as well she was accepted to UNC not too long ago.

Razan Abu Salha  just 19 years old and wanted to become an Architect . Best Friends have said that she was the sweetest thing ever.

I would like to end this by giving my Condolences to both Families and May Allah (SWT) give them Sabr during those difficult times ahead.

إنالله وإنا إليه رجعوم  ” To Allah We Belong & Unto Him We Shall Return”

Things that Us Single Muslim Girls Struggle with and are Annoyed by

It seems to me that whenever some of us whom have been single for a VERY long time go to social events with our Married friends , it seems like they don’t understand our struggle at all. Here are somethings we’re sick of hearing esp advising.

1. ” Naseeb happens when you at least expect it”

We know that already , cut the crap we know Allah writes down whom we should be with whenever the times right and it’s still hard

2. ” What’s wrong with you?, Maybe you should attract a guy more by changing your wardrobe”

That’s really not gonna cut it , if a guy happens to like us for us , great

3. “Maybe you should learn how to cook more”

Who cares maybe I’ll find a guy who likes to eat sandwhiches sometimes

4. ” You’re not professional enough”

5. ” Your type is kind of unrealistic” 

I know I am picky , but that’s how I roll I have certain qualities that I find that is gonna make me wanna be with this person u probably weren’t realistic with your chices.

6. ” Find someone a little older maybe it’ll increase your chances”

It doesn’t matter age or maturity , if they ain’t ready , they ain’t ready

7. Last but not least ” You’re Too Nice”

What do u want me to be a stuck up person?

These things that my Friends and I run into is sometimes very sad. We’re all spiritual and patient when it comes to Allah (SWT) perfect timing . My Problem is my Type tends to find Girls already to be Engaged/Married to , Too Young or Not really ready to settle down. I may not have that type of faith anymore , but what I do know is that I am human who wants to be loved and cared for all the right reasons. If it’s not to be in this life , Inshallah in Jannah ya Rab!

No one can survive Bombs and Tunas alone… My Journey to Libya in 2012

I’ve been to the Arab Country situated in North Africa 3 times now & this time , it was different. 1st of all , it was 1 year after the infamous ‘ Arab Spring’ that happened on Feb 17th where they overthrew the tyrannical leader known as Moammar Ghaddafi. My Father decided that winter was too bad for me to stay in America and also some personal issues I won’t be discussing on this page. It was great for a few weeks until wars started happening and things began to take a turn for the worse. I went to a lot of Weddings and Engagement visits. Like I said , Libyans are more conservative they don’t have Engagement parties like other more open Arab countries do they just write the  contract and set a wedding date.  All I could eat for Lunch/Dinner was chicken , eggs and tuna sandwiches because the economy was so bad after the Arab Spring that we couldn’t afford a lot of food. I only went to the supermarket one time thanks to my cousin’s awesome husband and got all I needed. Women generally in the South of Libya such as Sebha/Al Gourda where my Father’s from , typically don’t go out of the house.  In places like Tripoli , Misrata or Benghazi ( Before Turmoil in 2 of the Cities) more women there go out and have cars to drive more than people in the South. Now  the south typically are very traditional minded it when it comes to culture and Islam. It even goes overboard with the Wedding traditions. Usually the Bride has her Hennah and Wedding at her House , but my 2nd Cousin whom I still kinda keep in touch with today , had her Wedding at a hall which was awesome. It just depends on the family and how traditional they want it to be. We had to reschedule the wedding so many times because of the Tribal infighting in town. I can tell you I was pretty scared of the bombs going off  . My Uncle’s Brother In Law describes it like a action movie he’s just seen on TV. 

There’s also some Socio/Political problems still in the country . Many People have sided with the Rebels ( Thowar as they’re called) the one’s who overthrew the Gaddafi leader and some are Tahalab ( Pro Ghadaffi People). Unfortunately, it can tear a lot of friendships and close familial relationships apart I’ve seen it happen with my own eyes.  Women in the north have a little bit more freedom than the women in the south, Women in the north do go to school , drive and even have a semi free social life . Whereas the south , a man has to take you wherever you need to go , he also gets stuff you need or ask one of the kids to go get stuff for you especially the really embarrassing stuff.  Weddings and Lunches like I said are a special occasion . The food is big and people like to drink a lot of tea & getting into the latest gossip which we know Islamically is  not the wisest thing to do. The Social life in Libya is pretty basic your family is all you need , your friends can be part of your family and many more.  When girls reach puberty they have to wear the Hijab which is customary , but the hardest part is once they’re in the late teens to late 20’s- early 30’s Libyan women are always talking about Marriage. The generations collide on this one  since now more people are willing to go to University & establish a career than starting a relationship or family. Once she does graduate , then the pressure is on and if she’s not married by 30 somethings wrong with her. When I was asked these personal questions it made me feel awkward , but as an American person I stood my ground and told them that I don’t need a man in my life and marriage is not a guarantee for me only Allah knows what’s written for me. They pity the girl if she’s Divorced like it’s a disease some couple’s are not meant to stay together for whatever reason just move on. Especially if that happens the two families have awkwardness between them and their relationships are severed. I was being called Amerekeeya because I loved freedom and independence they weren’t used to that.  The society should appreciate women who wanna live their lives as is and not pressure to conform them into a marital institution or a career that would guarantee status. I’d have to say I liked Tripoli better than my Father’s hometown it was pretty opened and things were so much fun back then. Would I wanna go back? probably not , I am happy in a country I was born and raised in. My Grandmother , who was born in a village 1hr away from where my father grew up certainly agrees with me. I’ve visited there  it’s like a  desert a bunch of houses , one store and one school. I would like to go to other Arab countries InshAllah when things get safer and better for travel until then, I’m gonna stay put in USA and focus on my life here.

2015 is almost here and still self focused

It’s been quite a year for me and it was pretty decent Alhamdulilah for the most part. I finally encouraged myself to go back to college after 13 years of not doing so. I was really scared and didn’t know what the challenges were ahead I’m not really very academic is most areas like Science or Math , but at least I took Arabic class and managed to do very well. It was also a time for me to focused on my self , it had been at least 8 years since I got my 1st REAL Heartbreak . It took me a very long time to realize that whatever I was feeling at the time was just normal and a learning lesson & now they’re embarking a new chapter in their life Marriage. It might be silly , but it’s something I learned from 2 of my Favorite classy Celebs Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman about when a relationship kinda has its end and the reality of moving on . I now have the full closure that I really needed and I am happy for everyone and wish them the very best. I am just gonna focus on School and getting myself together Allah knows best when my time will come & even if not , InshAllah in Jannah ( Paradise) . I know u were looking for something fun on this post , but this is what all Humans go through especially Females. We’re all not perfect and we sin differently plus whenever u wanna preach about something to someone u should always go to another room to discuss them privately and not in public to humiliate people. We all have different timelines and paths to grieve and to heal. I’ve witness a lot of good things as well  . InshAllah hopefully your 2015 is off to a beautiful start. Oh best Part Syria got their 1st Arab Idol Hazim Sharif and Wael Kfoury wasn’t that bad of a judge and his Album is amazing!. Until Next time Bye!

Christmas… and yeah I know we don’t Celebrate it Etc…..

It’s that time of year again when Christians in the Western World would celebrate the Holiday of Christmas. We used to Celebrate it when I was little and it stopped around the age of 7 or 9 I cannot remember when. My Mother and her Family are American and while my late Grandfather was a Christian , he really didn’t like the way Christmas was celebrated. It was just a cultural thing we did  and didn’t think it was that Religious. Until 1989, My Sister and 2 other Half Arab Girls were sitting in the living room with the Family (  The other Family was Palestinian from The West Bank) and the older men thought that it was time to face the heartbreaking truth that Christmas was definitely Haram and that we had 3 other Holidays to Celebrate. Oh we cried and cried didn’t understand why. Jesus ( AS) is a Prophet of God and gave miracles he even talked as a child. Maryam was his mother whom wasn’t married was given that miracle. It had been hard to watch my Cousins celebrate their Holiday for many years , but now that I’m an Adult it’s ok now. It’s just saddens me that other Muslims have to judge other Muslims for being apart of a Multi-Cultural/ Multi-Faith Family it’s not really an easy thing to do. Now having a Teenage Brother whom has to hear his Friends get presents kinda makes me feel bad , but I know that he’s smart enough to understand. As for all these postings, I’m sorry if I come across as Harsh or Mean , but don’t u think that u should start with yourself before judging others?. I embrace all Prophets and respect other Religions . I choose to be open-minded not because My Religion says so , but it’s because its my choice. May all my Readers have a safe and happy holiday season.

What not to talk about in an Interracial/Interreligious Relatiopnships

As many of you know , I am mixed with Arab Libyan and American of German and Irish backgrounds. When Arab Men decide to Marry someone from ‘ The People of the Book’ or ‘ Ahl Al Kitab’ it gets really complicated. so I came up with of list of things not to talk about when you’re in that situation especially for children. And as of lately, alot of young American males some of them are attracted to Arab Muslim females that sometimes they don’t even understand that they shouldn’t even persue any further with them whatsoever. I know this topic of relationships comes up on my blog , but a few things need to be addressed so people can be aware of such things.

  1. Religion  : This topic can be a bit touchy since one person might  be  so strong in their faith that it might just cause arguments. Especially since if u are planning to have Kids the Man is the head of the house therefore, the Kids will be raised according to his faith
  2. Dating : I know it’s hard especially raising Muslim children that it’s hard to understand that your children are not allowed to be dating.  There are rules that Allah  has set forth even tho sometimes when they do date , it’ll haunt them later bringing about major consequences. And Guys , if u are Interested in a Girl , you shouldn’t be even talking to her in the 1st place if u wanna be Friends inside of class it’s fine it’s according to Family & if you’re trying to convert to Islam to just wanna be with her , then your intentions are no good . I seen alot of Guys leaving the Religion after being married u have been warned.
  3. Politics : Too complicated especially the Israeli- Palestinian conflict is very touchy especially if u find out that someone u really like is a Zionist.

Culture: I know growing up in an Arab American background , it can be tricky to know that anytime u go into a Masjid or event that sometimes you’re not even welcomed. Sticking to ur own culture I believe can sometimes strain your openmindedness , but u should explore different people of different ethnicities. As Arabs , we stick to our Comfort Zones. It’s 2014 , it’s a different era lets break out of our shell.

And lastly , hope u enjoyed reading this . It happens when u have late night thoughts till next time bye!

1st Fall Semester of College & Why I cannot hang out with Single Women like myself

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted my blog. I’ve been so busy with College as of lately & Finals are this week , thank goodness I only have two. College for me has been pretty good I took Arabic and UCV ( Freshman Seminar) Classes to see if I wanted to pursue it any further. I loved my Arabic class and learned so much about the Fus7a ( Modern Standard Arabic) dialect & want to learn so much more. As for a Major , I decided I didn’t want to obtain a Degree since there wasn’t a Arabic Major , but  a Islamic & Middle Eastern Studies Minor. As for my social life inside and outside of class, since I’ve been out of school for so long I wasn’t the only Arab person in college which was really nice. We have a lot of students from the Khaleej ( Gulf) areas and I didn’t get to meet anymore people from other Arab Countries. I also joined the Arabic Club at school as well. The only problem now that I’m facing is hanging out with Single college muslim girls. It seems like sometimes all they wanna do is hang out with guys or talk about them and about getting married. As many of you know , I am older than some of my Friends . I’ve been at that stage where they are right now & it’s a lesson learned. I hope that they realized just as I did , that they don’t need a Man to complete them or anything just focus on school , have fun and live ur life and InshAllah if someone comes along for them great , if not there are other things besides marriage not everyone is guaranteed to have a successful relationship. Heck , I have friends whom are currently divorced with children. I’ve decided that it’s ok to hang out with Single Girls for a little bit , but my Heart is with my closest married friends and their kids. Their Children give me a kid fix and make me thankful that God has written for my life the way it is right now. Sometimes I get sad and heartbroken , but then I move on and do other things. Hopefully I’ll write more in winter break. Have a Great Week off This December 🙂

New Apps You should use.

Now we all have Smart Phones nowadays & u cannot stop looking for the newest apps out there. Here’s some that’ll get u going.

Noon APP: It’s by the Company Yamli , u type Arabic without having an Arabic Computer. I text Family & Friends in Jordan, Libya and Palestine it’s a life savor and some lyrics on my Status messages/Tweets

Keefik App: a App that lets u learn the Lebanese Dialect

Islamic Finder or Athan Apps as well

Arabic Artist Ringtones I Downloaded some esp Melhim Zain

There’s also Listen Arabic , I Heart Radio , Ya Hala Voice and True Radio for all things Arabic Music. The only Artist on Pandora is Amr Diab. Otherwise , that’s the latest on the world of Technology. Until next post Bye!

It’s Wedding Season Part 1: The Dress Code

Now you’re all wondering why I haven’t posted yet , its because I’ve been so busy with Parties Including Engagements & Graduations. On this Series we’re gonna Focus on Wedding Attires and what’s appropriate to Wear to a Muslim or Arab Wedding . There are 2 Different Versions of Weddings in The Community :

1. Is a Separate Wedding: Meaning Men and Women go to Separate Rooms in a Hall and don’t Mingle or Dance with one another which is a Religious Thing , the RIGHT Islamic  way.

2. Is a Mixed Wedding: Which means Men and Women are at the Same Hall and Families Sit Together or Men on One side and Women on the Other.

What to Wear At a Mixed Wedding:

Men: As Usual Suits and Ties anything that’s appropriate which shouldn’t be too hard .

Women: If u Wear a Hijab , Get a Body Suit or a Nice Jacket to Wear that will Match with ur Dress and Hijab. To all the Non-Hijabi’s  The same thing ,  Wear a Jacket or Body Suit to be Modest since there’ll be Men in the same room a Short Sleeved Dress is ok too just not tank or Strapless

What To Wear At a Separate Wedding:

Men: As Usual

Women: Since it’s all Women there u can wear just about anything as long as it’s Decent . If the Groom is staying to Eat with the Bride always have an Abaya on Handy. Sometimes they do Cover since they’ll be Videotaping and Taking Pictures for the Couple.

So there’s my Tips , Every Arab Country is different with how they do their Weddings/Engagements. My Next Post will talk about that.

Until Next Time Salaam!